6- DO NOT COMPARE YOUR CHILD’S PROGRESS WITH THAT OF ANOTHER STUDENT.

Do not compare your child’s progress with that of another student, or sibling and do not discuss your child’s problems in front of him. Fin time when he/she is out of the room temporarily or call your teacher on the phone. Much thoughts and care have gone into our orientation program in order to help and ensure each child success in this wonderful music adventure.

7- OVER AND OVER “ONE POINT PER LESSON”

Dr S. Suzuki over and over in his books that only “one point per lesson’ should be taught. Don’t worry if your teacher is working on piano sound or tone and he gets the rhythm wrong, or something else doesn’t go quite right. The teacher knows, but she wants to fix one thing at the time. Relax and enjoy the lesson and sharing the feeling of achievement with your child.

8 - TEACH YOUR CHILD TO SAY ‘THANK YOU’ AND HAVE RESPECT FOR THE TEACHER

All teachers deserve respect. Saying ‘thank you’ at the end of each lesson, acknowledges to the teacher that you express gratitude for the music knowledge passed and shows courtesy. Payment for lessons does not entitle individuals to display any form of disrespect. Many children begin and/or leave the music lessons without greeting the teacher. This goes against the Suzuki method culture that requires the children to adopt, develop and master its discipline. Of course this is not referencing the shyness expressed by children when start lessons for the first couple of times as this is normal and expected. However, as lessons develop, a curtest greeting and gratitude is expected at each lesson attended. Thank you to those that gave so many ‘thank you’s after leaving each lesson. It made up for those few that regretfully had no words of gratitude. Also, thank you to those students who expressed enthusiasm and eagerness.

9- PLEASE DO NOT HELP DURING LESSONS

One more important point – it is difficult for parents to act as ‘home teachers’ and then come to lessons and sit quite and passively without trying to ‘help our’. ‘ Please do not help’ Children are super sensitive to their parents’ reactions and sometimes they will focus on the parent more than the teacher during the lesson. So, no comment, groans, tisks, giggles, or excuses please.

10- - SELF – CONFIDENCE AND A HEALTHY SELF –IMAGE

Remember, Suzuki music teachers primary aim isn’t to produce only concert musicians, although that sometimes happens. Suzuki music teachers are to encourage children to develop sensitivity, self-respect, self-confidence and a healthy self –image.

Esther Reinders

NOTE: With thanks to Susan Kempter and Edward Kreitmnan and Christine Magaziner.

11-Mothers statements like: MY CHILD IS A GENIUS/ MY CHILD IS BETTER…

There are parents that like to build their child’s confidence by praising them continuously. They openly tell their child that he/she is extremely clever, a genius and that they are much better than ‘so and so’.  In this regard, I would like to make some comments as I believe they are pertinent in providing the right encouragement to your child, both in the short and long term.

A child knows very well the limitations of his/her mind and body. This sense of ‘self’ is his/her inner reality and will always remain with the person. Therefore, attempting to make a child  believe that his/her potential is greater or above their actual capacity, will only distort their accuracy of the ‘self’, causing the child to try accomplish impossible things in life. This wont increase a child’s potential and merely limit his/her ability to address real life challenges and obstacles at hand. Moreover, this will impede on the building of confidence requirement, needed for progression/learning. Using facts to demonstrate cases of superhuman ability to reinforce the “you are a genius” message will only exacerbate the problem. Stating that your child is a genius openly and publicly only degrades their stature, both to others and to themselves. Intelligent children or even the seldom “genius” ones don’t need to express their innate ability; not verbally nor via external demonstration – an ability to read a very thick and pretentious book is no means an indication of innate brilliance.  

Success is not solely dependant on one’s intelligence and mental capacity; confidence and hard work is required too. Confidence is not just an expression of words that gets repeated over and over again; it is an abstract communication between one’s mind and one’s emotions.  It is an expression that the child can feel (emotion) and understand (physically) created by having a securing and loving home re-enforced by unconditional love by his/her parents.

It is confidence that is therefore needed to support the learning process and not these counter-productive messages.  Genius is not synonymous with confidence.

As my music professor, Dr. Enrique Barenboim, used to reply to parents when approached, requesting lessons for their genius kids: Sorry madam I only teach normal children.